Ways to resolve disputes between spouses

Married life is not a life rosy as many believe it is the life of a mixed feel where the couple sometimes love and sometimes hate, which is connected region in the brain, activate feelings responsible for love and is also working to stimulate the secretion of anger White, which explains the reason for the dispute between the couples, despite all the love that between them from time to time.



According to the treatment of psychological and social d. Bonny Eker, author of Make Up, Don't Break Up, the debate and controversy can be a sign of strength of the relationship with the partner, and durability of emotional attachment between the parties, according Iker provides comfortable feeling, because couples express their feelings negative toward the other without fear of loss or the loss of a relationship. But Iker show that there are good ways and bad to resolve differences between the parties.

And says, "When the controversy mounts spouses must provisions of the mind to resolve the dispute and this is done in the following ways":

You must use the ears do not mouth: It says specialist marital relations Benjamin Karnh of Relations Institute at the University of California at Los Angeles, "often one feels in the debate that repeats itself over and over if hair one this matter it stop debate Some couples tend to repeat themselves, because of their desperation and because they They want to be listening to them, but this method is ineffective debate does not solve the dispute because each one speaks direction, instead of building a dialogue. "

Iker says "more worthy is to listen to what is said instead of yelling and charges for both parties, and in this case no one will listen to one another, and will not really aware of what is going on and know where the problem lies."

In the midst of the controversy between couples often come leaps sudden throwing things irrelevant, according to Rita Demaria specialist relations and director of education at the Council on Foreign Relations in Philadelphia, indicating that insults sometimes launches between the two parties is justified which creates feelings of painful unrelated arguments or quo.

The Demaria that the human brain is biased for things negative and this is what makes one more response to the news is good, and this is due to the ability of the human race, depending on Grazathm to stay outside the circle of danger, and here lies in the development of the mind to protection systems make it impossible or nearly impossible to overlook the bad .

She says, "This is why we need to reduce the negative impact of our words, while we remain in the carefree, it should be remembered that the purpose of the debate is to solve problems and not insult the other party. Advises couples that instead of charges and insults to the other to reflect the impact of the actions of the other him, if the wife says, for example, "I am weary of planning for everything on my own, and I hope if you play or help me."

Iker says you should stop thinking about or debate in which the winner and loser, but must be the success of the marital relationship is the primary concern and may not work to give the larger problems larger than its size, but must always work to minimize the problem.

And a healthy relationship is a relationship that allows flexible for couples to grow, and give space to another and also allows respect for the other, which allows the partners to live a life full of discovery, and adds, "We do not have to give up on ourselves in order to partner."

As for the relationship couples new can agree on a way to resolve disputes away from the defamation and focus on ways to solve it gently, such as the expression of feelings tenderly and disclosure of the source of discomfort directly, and deal with the problem or situation in a timely manner so as not to repeat or grow up and cause a rift between the two parties.

Show Iker that express what annoys the other solves half the problem actually, which is approximately between couples and strengthens their relationship, must also couples act poetically in the midst of the debate or controversy rages, as it has a positive effect not harm the hug between couples during the debate because it has a role in reducing tension and soothe negative emotions and transmit tranquility and comfort renewal of positive interaction and negative expulsion.

It is possible to turn one of the parties to teasing the other once throwing jokes annoying and even invited titles is grainy to raise the degree of tension between them, which leads to negative especially given that the title associated with the observations of a negative, and that makes the relationship fade away and might end forever, no matter what the situation was difficult in the end does not both parties must can Atzkra that whatever the problem must love them to be his greatest influence, and he must be a catalyst for the success of the institution of marriage.